My husband and I sat down the other night to talk about the importance of having goals. Ok, he talked, and I mostly cried. I haven’t made any goals (not real ones) since I stopped running last summer. All I can think of is that with running, I worked hard, trained, killed myself, only to quit and never run the race I set out to beat in the first place. I see it as a failure. It’s funny, though. He sees that situation in a much different light. While I may not have run in the actual half marathon race, I did run train for months and run almost a half marathon distance. He considers it a success!
I guess the point is, I’ve been scared to set anymore big goals for myself because I feel like I’m already failing at the everyday things, and I don’t want to disappoint, well, anyone. I’ve stopped keeping track of the food I’m eating. I’ve stopped weighing myself. I’ve not even attempted to do any sort of exercise. Then he asked me if it made me mad that I quit. Of course I said yes. Then, smart guy that he is, he asked if I was mad enough to change it…
Am I? I haven’t been up to this point. I’ve been mad enough to wallow. Mad enough to eat cookies. Definitely mad enough to pin healthy foods and exercise plans to my Lookin’ Good board on Pinterest. But mad enough to change? No. Until now.
I’ve found several workout plans online. Some build core strength. Others claim to give you the legs of a dancer. (Ha!) You all know you can find nearly anything on Pinterest. On may 31st, I happened across one titled “Mean Abs June”. It consisted of four daily exercises, each done six days a week, with increasing numbers to the end of the month. I pinned it, but gave it little thought until the conversation with PJ. That’s when I decided that it would be stupid to pin it, but not actually do it. (The kids and my niece have joined me in the June challenge, which is good because it makes it harder for me to throw in the towel!)
So here we are, five days into June. I did the first two days, then Sunday was a rest day. I was feeling pretty smug, apparently, so I found a separate leg workout to do on Sunday. Yeesh. I barely made it up the stairs afterward!
When I got ready to put in yesterday’s effort, I couldn’t manage to do the first sit up. My body was so sore that I couldn’t physically get it done. I was on the verge of being really frustrated, but decided that it was still early, and I could do it later. I lounged with a cup of coffee, chatted with Jess and the kids, and yelled at the dogs for barking (which also hurt my abs). I drank a bottle of water, started some good music, and decided to give it another go.
It definitely wasn’t easy, but I finished the challenge. I’m trying to just take it a day at a time, and not look ahead for fear of psyching myself out. I can already feel a difference in my core. I am going to take my measurements today, and again on the first of July to see if there is a visible difference. Whether it’s noticeable to the world or not, I know it will make a big difference in my head, and probably my heart.
Have you set any goals lately? Have some you were already working on? If not, what is holding you back?