Freedom 5k

You all heard that I walked a 5k with a friend two weeks ago, and I’m sure you know that I was in another 5k this weekend (because I have a big mouth and told the world), but I thought I’d give you some details on the race.

                                            freedom 5k

I woke up late Saturday morning after ignoring my three alarms, and felt like I had a small elephant sitting on my chest. My allergies have been pretty bad the last week or so, but this was the first day it has affected my breathing. The only thing that got me out of bed was reminding myself that my house was at the half-way point of the race, so I could stop if I was dying.

I got up, dressed, had a Clif Bar for breakfast, took my vitamins, fixed my hair, and was ready to go when PJ headed out to work. He dropped me off at the church (AKA the start and finish line), collected my t-shirt, and I was on my own. (I was a little sad to have bib #1771 instead of #1776 because I’m a big ole nerd.) I could tell by looking that most of the people there were serious runners. I didn’t let it get to me though because this was my first attempt at running a 5k, alone, and without music. Also, I still couldn’t really breathe.

I had already decided I would walk the first half mile or so as a warm-up, so when the starting gun went off, I started walking. This is where I admit that I have super short stumpy legs. My walking pace is ssslllooooooooowwwww. At the half mile mark, I started jogging (also slow). My lungs still felt like they were trying to collapse. When I was close to home, I called my mom and had her bring a water bottle out to me. My first walk break was two blocks uphill from there. I slowly jogged the next 3/4 mile or so, barely keeping ahead of a lady walking and pushing a stroller. From then on, each time I walked, she passed me, and each time I ran, I passed her. The last leg of the race was uphill (of course), so I walked the first part, said a prayer (a combination of “running this race with endurance” and “please don’t let me die”…), and made the last surge (ha!) up the hill, up the driveway, and across the finish line.

I settled on a nice shady place in the grass to stretch, where I then had a very awkward moment with the stroller lady (one of those “Thank God I will probably never see this person again” moments). It seemed as good a time as any to walk home after that.

My time was 45 minutes. It wasn’t my fastest, but it’s a good starting point as far as races go. I survived. I finished running. I beat the lady walking with the stroller. Barely. I didn’t even care that I was the last of the runners. I was just glad to not be last.

Starting from Scratch

In the last two months, I have logged three miles running, and walked a 5k (3.1 miles). My husband was given a promotion several weeks ago, and since then, time for me to run has been scarce. The temperature has also been much warmer than what I am used to running in. Then I had to cancel my trip to Boise for the half marathon I had been training for for months. Roll these together, and you have the foundation I built my depression and laziness on.

In that time, not only did I stop running, but I stopped eating healthy. When I stepped onto the scale this morning, it pointed out that I have regained 9 of the 21 pounds I had lost. Ugh. I don’t want to go back to where I was. It’s time for me to set a new goal, and make it happen.

First of all, I have another 5k coming up this Saturday. I don’t know if I will be able to run the whole thing or not. This is a major setback for me. I went out for a run tonight and only managed 1.5 miles. It’s like I’m starting over from scratch. At one point, I actually wished I could break my pelvis while running so that I would have a reason for stopping that sounded better than, “It hurts.” or, “I’m a quitter.” No such luck.

I’m going to spend the rest of this week thinking about what I really want to do, and I will work out my training starting next week. I will “run the race before me with endurance”, even if I’m not sure what it is yet. I will make healthier choices, and keep my weight going in the right direction (right after this fudge cake is gone…).

Have you encountered a setback lately? What are you doing to get yourself back on track"?

And then I cried…Again.

I haven’t blogged lately. It’s not because I don’t have anything to say, or can’t come up with a topic, or even because I haven’t had time. I’m just so tired of crying, and I know I won’t make it through this post without tears. However, I feel like maybe if I get it all out there, I will feel better.

As you all know, I’ve been training hard for a half marathon for several months. I’m a step beyond terrified of running this thing, but I was slightly calmer because I had a friend to run it with me, and my family to cheer for me at the finish line. A few weeks ago, my friend who was going to run with me found out she had to reschedule a sizeable oral surgery, and they scheduled it for the week of the race. When I found out, I cried for her because they have already drug this ordeal out for so long, and I want her to finally feel better. And then I cried because I’m so afraid to run this on my own. What if I’m not strong enough? What if I haven’t trained hard enough? What if I prove to all of you who have been so supportive of me that you were wrong and I can’t do it? It haunts me.

You’ve probably also heard that my husband just got promoted a few weeks ago. I am so proud of him, and I was prepared for the long hours he would be putting in until things settle down. I even started as his admin assistant last week. (The current admin is about to go on maternity leave.) I was working in the office on Wednesday when his kitchen manager came in, set his keys on the desk, and told us he was quitting. No notice. He didn’t stick around so PJ could make a plan. He just left, and when he left, he robbed me of having my husband at the finish line. That’s right. Not only is he working even longer hours now (16 yesterday), but he doesn’t get to come on vacation with us. I pretty much cried all the rest of the day. Wednesday was a major tear-fest. I was so glad when it was over.

Add to all of that my dislike of driving, my lack of time to continue training, a 10 hour drive to Idaho,  four upset kids, disappointed friends…I’m spent. Mentally, emotionally, physically. I can’t seem to make it through a day without sobbing at least once. I will manage it all somehow, because really, what choice do I have? It’s what I do. But I don’t want to. Just this one time, I’d like for everything to just run smoothly and be easy. I want to get my own way.

I guess at the end of the day, I’m just another selfish human.

Walking doesn’t equal failure

Last week was full of triumphs and tears. I have been training my heart out, and felt like I had hit a wall. I just couldn’t get past the 8 mile mark. Two failed 10 miles runs had me so discouraged that I didn’t run at all last week until yesterday. Everything I read was telling me that this training program should work, and that I should be able to run the distances it told me to. Then I read something that actually made me cry because I realized I had let them do it to me again. Just like my junior high PE teachers, I let these athletic magazines and “experts” make me feel weak, slow, fat because I couldn’t manage to run 10 miles without walking or getting completely exhausted.

A while back I downloaded a sample of a book called Marathon: You Can Do It! written by Jeff Galloway on Kindle. As I was reading it a few nights back, I burst into tears. Not only did it say that walk breaks were acceptable in a marathon race setting, but he wrote that people who walked 30 seconds of each mile, starting with the first mile, were able to run longer and finish stronger. He was actually encouraging me to walk, not telling me that I was weak for doing so. Right then I decided I would try it on my next long run.

Most people would have given the 10 mile run another try, but not me. I’m too stubborn for that. My calendar for yesterday said 12 miles, so I mapped a 12 mile course. I wrote out the mile marker locations on the back of my hand so I would know when to take my walk breaks. I will admit that I still had serious doubts about my ability to make it, so I sent out a fairly desperate plea for prayers on facebook and Twitter, filled my water bottle, grabbed some Shot Bloks, turned on my music and headed out.

I can’t tell you the difference the walk breaks made. I ended up going back to my Couch to 5K roots and running for 14 minutes, then walking for 1 minute. In most cases the one minute walk break was enough to let me grab a drink, refocus, and be ready for the next mile. At 4 and 8 miles, I took two minutes to eat my bloks to keep my energy up. I made it fairly easily through the first 10.5 miles. I took a six minute walk break then to make it up the steepest hill, give myself a pep talk, and pull myself together. The last mile and a half were flat and then downhill, and I was even able to give it more juice in the home stretch.

After 12.36 miles, I was tired, sore (really sore), and emotional. But I did it. And I have no doubt now that I can add another .75 miles to make it 13.1 in the half marathon in five weeks.

The moral of my story is that I have to stop letting people, especially people I don’t even know, make me feel inferior. I have worked hard. I have pushed myself. I have come a long way, baby!

*I have no affiliation with Jeff Galloway, Amazon Kindle, or Clif Shot Bloks. I pay for all these products myself for my personal use, and endorse them as a satisfied customer. These opinions are mine, all mine!

*****     *****     *****

I’ve been thinking lately of sayings I could have put on the shirt I plan on wearing for my half marathon that describe why I’m running. A few examples: 13.1 because you told me I couldn’t do it, 13.1 for all the girls picked last in gym class, 13.1 because I’m afraid you’re right about me… You get the picture. What do you think? Do you have a good saying for my shirt?

I’m your new Real Woman

Now, don’t read the title to this and get all excited. The winners of the Real Faces of Fila Toning were announced today, but I’m not one of them. I didn’t even make it into the top 30 semi-finalists. But frankly, I don’t care. They sent me a pair of their toning pants, and they are great to wear when cooking dinner or doing laundry, but I can’t wear them to run. They fall off. Way, way off.

This doesn’t mean, however, that I’m not inspiring. I can inspire a lot more women (and maybe some men) by getting out there in my plain black tee and cheapo Wal-Mart athletic pants and running my butt off than by having pictures taken of it (my butt) in a pair of pants none of my friends (or I) could afford.

I didn’t win $1000, but I will still be out there on the street four days a week training for a half marathon. I don’t need money. I need a healthy lifestyle. I need to be around to raise and love on my four kids. I need to remember that nothing I see in magazines can define ME. I need to believe my husband when he calls me amazing.

I will use my own story to inspire me, to keep me moving. I will be the new face of “Get off the couch and move your butt!”. I’m that hard-core. ;)

Run, momma!

It has been a good week for me as far as running goes. I ran four miles on Wednesday (missed my Monday run), and for the first time ever, successfully managed to run two days in a row. Even better than that, my three mile on Thursday was my fastest ever! It was amazing, even though I had a run-in with a crazy woman and her dogs… Long story.

Then Friday was a recovery day, and I needed it. My legs were so sore, I felt like we should start buying stock in Ben-Gay, or maybe Icy Hot. Instead I limped around like an old lady and whined about it. Problem solved.

Today was my first five mile run. I’m not exaggerating when I say that the wind was blowing 40mph. (It does that here.) But it was 72*, so I went running. The run actually went really well. It was like a run/resistance workout/exfoliation all in one. When I got to the hill that goes on for three blocks (literally), I didn’t even mess with it. I was over three miles in, and it was uphill into the wind. It was blowing so hard in my face that I couldn’t breathe, so I walked it. Normally I would count this as a failure, but today it couldn’t be helped. I know I will kill it next time. Even with walking up the hill, I still finished the five miles in under 68 minutes.

There you have it! I ran 12 miles this week, set a personal record, and made my longest run ever.

What were the highlights of your week??

What’s the Time?

This week has brought a new angle to my running and training.  Up to now, with the Couch to 5k and Bridge to 10k programs, I was running for a specified amount of time.  But this week, I officially started on a half marathon training program, and it gives me a certain distance I need to run on each day.  I used to think to myself, “I just need to run until the whistle blows…”  Now I have to set out on a well planned, pre-measured course.  As long as I stick to the course, I can tell myself, “As soon as I get home, I will be done.”  Instead of using a timer to count down, I use a stopwatch to keep track. 

It’s a whole different world of running.  Instead of wondering where I will be when my time is finished, I know exactly where I am going, and where I will end up.  I have to concentrate on my pace.  Am I moving too quickly?  Will I run out of energy before I make it back?  How will this run compare to the last? 

So far, I am still in my comfort zone as far as the distance goes.  This week I have 3 and 4 mile days.  Next week my long run is 5 miles, only .3 miles farther than I have run so far, so I’m not really concerned about it either.  I try not to focus on the upcoming weeks, but it’s hard not to notice how quickly the mileage goes up… Then again, with less than three months left until my race, I don’t exactly have time to spare. O_o

The BIG 6-0

I did something on Saturday that I never would have dreamed I could accomplish. Then again, since I started running in October, I’ve said that nearly every time I ran.  This is big though.  BIG even.  Not only was Saturday’s run my farthest yet (4.59 miles), but I ran the whole thing, a total of 60 minutes! For those of you not skilled in math, 60 minutes = 1 hour.

I ran 60 minutes and didn’t vomit. I ran 60 minutes and didn’t have an asthma attack. I ran 60 minutes without pain. I ran 60 minutes and did not die. (All things I was concerned about before I ran for 60 minutes.)

Now to do it two more times, and I will officially graduate from my 10k training program, and get started with the half marathon program. A week ago I would have been worried, but that was before I ran for 60 minutes.  :)

 

Goodbye, week 5

Today I finished week 5 of the Bridge to 10K program.  This run consisted of two 30 minute intervals with a 1 minute resting period between them. The run was great, and the weather was beautiful.  It isn’t often that Montana has a day in March over 60*. It was the first time I have ever run wearing only a short sleeved shirt and mesh running pants.

Of course, the big thing on my mind now is finishing the program strong.  There is only one week left, and it’s comprised of three 60 minute runs. I realize that the only difference between that and what I did today is a single 60 second break, and yet, it seems unfathomable that I might actually be able to do it.  Five months ago I had trouble running for 60 seconds, and here I am, about to run for a full hour!

I have a little treat saved up for when I finish.  Remember the sweet little gift I got from my friend, Anna, when I finished the Couch to 5K? Well, I saved one of the cinnamon bears from the bag she sent so I could eat it when I graduate this time. I’m sure it will be a hard little bear, but I don’t care.  I’ve finally almost earned it…

One More Time Again

I was barely 15 feet out the door yesterday, determined to kill my run to make up for Sunday’s nightmare, when I stepped off the edge of my driveway and literally fell to my knees. Well, to my left knee. Then I quickly picked myself up, looked around for witnesses, and pretended it didn’t happen. It also made me wonder if I should just go back inside and take a nap…

I didn’t. I knew that I needed to make that run happen if I was going to keep what little determination I had left. Armed with a new pair of shoes, I started off down the street.

The weather was. Bue. Tee. Ful. It was 30* with no wind and the sun was shining. I wore a long sleeved t-shirt and wind pants, and within a few blocks, was wishing I had worn short sleeves. Once again, the first half of my run went great. I made the first two miles in 25 minutes.

My inner chatter at that point was very focused on finishing the run. Not just doing an ok job, but finishing strong and feeling I could move on to the next level. The whole time I was running up the hill, I focused on the fact that I was headed home and could soon start counting down the blocks. Before I knew it, my whistle was blowing to let me know I was done. I was still six blocks from home, so to show my legs who is in charge, I ran some more.

Now I just have to pray that it all carries over to tomorrow’s run. I want to finish off week 5 strong! (I’m just hoping to make it through week 6 without dying…)