My kids are extremely lucky that we don’t celebrate Christmas with Santa. This year, Santa would laugh hysterically at the thought of dropping gifts off at our house. There seems to be a huge case of entitlement going around. Add to that bad attitudes, the inability to clean up after themselves, and constant use of snotty tones, and it makes Santa…er, Momma, not very jolly.

Last year, we wanted to get on track with duties and chores right away in our new house, so we made a big white board chart with what each person needed to do on any given day of the week. The chores rotated so no one was stuck with the same ones all the time. For each completed task, they got a mark, and every five marks earned them $1.00. This method worked pretty well for several months with gentle reminders. Then it took more than gentle reminders. Finally, it got to the point where nothing ever got done unless I nagged about it. (I hate nagging, so…)

After struggling for months because I suck at housekeeping, we came up with a new idea. We thought the original board was good while it lasted, but the kids needed some new motivation. Besides that, we thought they were old enough to start earning a real allowance. I made each of them a list of everyday tasks (wake up, brush teeth, eat meals, bathe…you get the idea) that needed to be done. I also made a list of things to watch for daily, like garbage and dishes, that could be done to be extra helpful. I made myself a list of the major chores for each day of the week. They are all posted on the old white board.

We sat the kids down, explained the new plan to them, and asked them what they thought. They all agreed that they were old enough to help out and earn allowance, and so we went with it. Sort of. PJ and I went with it. The kids…lack motivation or something.

A few weeks back, PJ had finally had enough with the kids not cleaning up their messes, and their angry “it’s not fair” outbursts when they were asked to help out. He went in their bedrooms armed with a Sam’s Club sized box of garbage bags, and relieved them of everything that wasn’t clothes or bedding. Bag after bag of toys and games and doll clothes went out to the garage. (We let them keep the books as long as they would keep them picked up.) We were finally able to vacuum in their rooms, move the couch and put the area rug under it, and have an organized living area.

We let the kids know what it would take to earn back their toys, and they assured us they would have the toys back in no time. And this is where the story takes a dramatic turn, and my children start taking responsibility for their actions. Right? Right?!

No. Not right. Instead, they still manage to make a mess of their rooms and family room. Every. Single. Day. They complain on a daily basis that they don’t have clean clothes, but are completely unwilling to wash any unless forced to do so. Then getting them to put their clothes away is where the real nightmare begins.

They haven’t earned anything back. Their attitudes haven’t improved. They keep saying, “That’s what I want for Christmas!” in the toy aisle. And I’m done. I’m tired of putting the food they pull out away after every meal. I’m tired of forcing them to wash clothes, and standing over them like a prison guard to make sure they get put away. I’m tired of fist fights and whining and “that’s not fair!”. I’m tired, and I’m done.

So, now what? How do we fix this? We need suggestions because things are going south quickly here, and I’m about to lose it.