I got my biggest gifts before my birthday…

They’re both smokin’!

My morning started out with Caroline opening my bedroom door, and Chester making a mad dash for my bed. He cuddled up under the covers with me for a few minutes until I got out of bed.

Because, how could I say no to this face??

I went in to put in my contacts, only to find that my eye hurt like crazy again, so it was back to the glasses.

The kids fixed me breakfast. There were 3 pancakes (2 were still gooey in the middle), 3 strawberries, a banana, and a bowl of apple cinnamon oatmeal. (It was cold and hard by the time I got to it. I’m not sure how long it had been sitting there.)  I put some milk in the oatmeal and reheated it, ate the strawberries and one pancake that was cooked through, ate the oatmeal, and PJ saved me by disposing of the other pancakes. (This is an improvement over the year they tried to make me pancakes in the oven…)

The aforementioned oven pancakes

I got some beautiful gifts from the girls.

A beautiful cupcake from Caroline. She said, “Don’t eat it. It’s paper.”

A pretty necklace that Cady made. I can turn it around to make it say WOW.

My wonderful husband bought me an iced raspberry mocha.

We went for lunch, which was delicious, and then I visited the eye doctor. He informed me I have an infection and have to wear my glasses for a full week, wrote me a prescription, and gave me these:

Pretty hot, right? Try not to be jealous.

Then we came home, and I ate one of these:

Because Snickers Ice Cream bars are my favorite!

Then I made a joke on Facebook about needing $10 to buy 5 episodes of a show on Amazon, and my super friend, Lisa, sent me this:

Warehouse 13 Season 4, here I come!

And for dinner…

Now I’m off to put on my pajamas and watch a movie with my family. Cuz I’m old. And that’s what old people do.

Day 29: Once again, no exercise. After only getting three hours of sleep, just breathing was a workout.

Day 30: Today we pulled out the Yoga Booty Ballet GoGo video. It was a lot easier to follow this time (only our 2nd time doing it). My balance is off due to wearing my glasses instead of contacts, so that made the ballet part pretty interesting.                  With the weigh-in and measurements coming up tomorrow, I’m getting nervous. I’ve been crazy all month wanting to be able to do it, and now that the day is nearly here, I’m a little worried about it. Weeks three and four of the challenge were rough, so I don’t really know what to expect.

Day 31: This is why I get so discouraged and quit. I just finished my weight and measurements, and after a full month, there is no change. In fact, I gained .2lbs. I don’t have time to exercise six hours a day like they do on The Biggest Loser. What am I supposed to do? What is enough? I’m suddenly less excited for Awesome April, but I committed to it, so I will do it.

My friend Kristi re-tweeted a link for an Awesome April Challenge from Sam at awkwardgirlgetsfit.com, and I figured it would be a good way for me to stay on track when my 31 Day Exercise Challenge ends in a few days. (Plus, my friend Lisa said she would do it if I did, so, yeah.) The basic idea is to take three areas (food, fitness, and faith) and set a goal for each.

My food goal is to cut back on carbs and refined sugars, and eat more whole foods, fruits, veggies, and from-scratch meals. I’ve already cut out sodas, and rarely eat bread, but it’s the pasta I will miss!

I am going to continue exercising like I have been this last month, and add some jogging with the kids and more strength training in.

Honestly, this one will probably be the hardest for me. That being the case, I think I will incorporate a daily devotional into our school day with the kids. It will benefit all of us, and they will help to keep me accountable every day.

There you have it! Easy as, well, not pie because that would squash my first goal, but you get the point. April is looking pretty awesome from here!

*Thanks to Lisa for my cool graphics!

We are coming into the final stretch here, and I’m getting nervous. What if all this work doesn’t make any difference in my weight or measurements? In the past, I have given up, time and again, when I don’t see the numbers I want to. I feel more committed this time, but what if it turns out I’m not? Maybe it’s just my stuffy head interfering with rational thought…

Day 22: I didn’t get any exercise today, unless you count hefting 15 different models of handguns. My dad took me shopping to find just the right one for my fat little hand.

Day 23: Man, we did Ab Ripper today, and then the beginner Yoga Booty Ballet. The funny (or not) thing is that the YBB also had a whole abs section in it. If I don’t come out of this with washboard abs, I’m going to be disgruntled.

Day 24: Nothing. Unless you count sneezing, wheezing, and blowing my nose. I just feel crummy.

Day 25: I still feel icky, but I’m not giving up. I did Billy’s Bootcamp Rock Hard Abs by myself today. I was definitely moving slower than usual, but at least I was moving.

Day 26: I’m so sore, it literally hurts to breathe.

Day 27: Tonight we did Billy’s Bootcamp Mission 1, but this time we did it with the eight minute extension, and with weights. We have made a lot of progress in our stamina and ability, but we aren’t quite ready to be in a Billy Blanks video. 

Day 28: I didn’t work out, but I went to the gyno and didn’t treat myself to ice cream afterwards, so I’m counting it as a win.

I’m trying not to be frustrated by what the scale said at the doctor’s office today, but it’s so hard. This week has been rough. I’ve mostly felt like garbage. I guess I will just keep moving forward and do what I can to finish out the month. Then, it’s off to a new challenge to keep me focused.

Going into week 3, I feel really good. I’ve been drinking water and remembering to take my vitamin every day. I still don’t really see any changes on the surface, but I can feel things changing way down deep (under the fluff).

Day 15: I found another Billy’s Boot Camp DVD, so we gave it a try today. Holy geez, that man can move. It was the beginner DVD, Mission 1. I haven’t found Mission 2 yet, and I’m a little afraid to at this point. I can tell we are getting a good workout, though, and that’s what matters. I also bought one of those giant exercise balls and some elastic bands today to use with some of the videos we’ve been doing.

Day 16: Today was comprised mostly of cursing and crying. I didn’t work out, and was full of rage all day. I’m sure that’s not a good sign. Or I should take up boxing.

Day 17: I think Jillian Michaels Yoga Meltdown made up for no exercise yesterday. My entire body is shaking. I just love to hate Jillian, but she’s effective.

Day 18: We needed to blow off some steam today, so we rocked out Billy’s Boot Camp Mission 1 again. We did it with weights this time, and holy geez, that makes a huge difference!

Day 19: Tonight I did a partial ab ripper and a tried a few things on my new exercise ball. It came with a DVD, so I may have to take a look and see how I can use it most effectively.

Day 20: I hate exercising alone. I should have asked the kids to do something with me, but I skipped instead. Now I feel like crap.

Day 21: To make up for being lax the last two days, we did Ab Ripper, Power90 Cardio, and Ab Ripper again. We are seriously considering getting a heavy bag to put in the garage. It would be a good way to blow off steam.

We’ve made it through three weeks! I am seeing a difference in my arms and legs, but not really any in my stomach/waist yet. I know I have a lot of extra there, and it’s going to take time to get rid of it. I just wish there was some noticeable change. It’s almost time to weigh and measure again too. Only ten more days in the 31 Day Exercise Challenge!!!

It’s making me a little crazy to not be checking the scale. I’m not really feeling any difference in how my clothes fit yet.

Day 8: It is gorgeous outside, and only the oldest kid was home, so we took a walk around the neighborhood. Some days you just need fresh air!

Day 9: I finished off today with a round of Hip Hop Abs with the kids. I probably burned as many calories from laughing as I did from dancing (or whatever you would call it that I was doing).

Day 10: It felt so good the first time (or something) that we did Billy’s Bootcamp Elite Abs again today. My whole body is shaking, but at least I know it’s working!

Day 11: We kicked up the cardio with Tony Horton today and did the Power90 Cardio and Ab Ripper. Jumping jacks just may be the death of me.

Day 12: Rest day, because some days your muscles just need a break.

Day 13: Man…my legs are burning from the YBB All over shaping video. If I don’t come out of this with some killer legs, I’m going to cry.

Day 14: Today we did a quick upper body workout with some of our favorite Biggest Losers. It was fast and pretty easy, so next time we do it, we will have to amp up the weights some. The ones we used today weren’t heavy enough.

I’m really happy with our progress so far. We aren’t ripped yet, but the exercises are getting easier, I feel more flexible (though I’ve always been very flexible), and I don’t feel completely dead by the time we are done. The challenge is almost half over, and I’m still going strong!

*** Have you been doing the challenge with Jess and I? How’s it going? What do you have planned for week 3?

I go into these things with much vim and vigor, but tend to get bored and my enthusiasm dies quickly. My plan this time is to take advantage of my vast stores of varied exercise videos. I have Power90, Yoga Booty Ballet, Tae Bo, Yoga, Walk Away the Pounds, and a few Biggest Loser DVD’s, and that’s just naming the better known ones. I figure if I switch it up a bit, I will keep my body guessing, and I won’t get caught up in monotony and quit. So far, it’s working. Here is a look back at the first week of my challenge:

Day 1: I conned my niece, Jessica, into doing the challenge with me, and we decided to start with the beginner level of Yoga Booty Ballet. It had yoga, ballet, cardio, weights…  A very good all-around workout that left us sweaty, sore, and cursing Gillian and Teigh (Gill-ian and Tee).

Day 2: We took it outside for day 2, and spent some time in the glorious sunshine walking around the zoo with some friends and the kids.

Day 3: The weather kept us inside, and my little girls wanted to dance, so we pulled out the Yoga Booty Ballet Hip Hop Abs DVD. I’m no dancer, but it was pretty fun. We worked up a good sweat, then put in some time on abs, and a little yoga to stretch out. I’m sure we will do this one again if the little girls have anything to say about it.

Day 4: We mixed it up a little today with Power90 Ab Ripper, and then Yoga Booty Ballet Go Go.  The Go Go just further proved my lack of dancing ability, but it got me moving and sweating, so I guess it’s a win.

Day 5: We did weights (Power90 Sculpt) for the first time since starting the challenge. My arms are limp, and my legs are wobbly, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to move in the morning. At least I can tell it’s doing something, right?

Day 6: Well, I knew it would happen sooner or later. I didn’t get a workout in today, but instead of feeling like a failure, I’m going to call it a rest day and get back on the wagon tomorrow.

Day 7: You want to know what makes Power90 Ab Ripper seem like kindergarten recess fun? Billy’s Bootcamp Elite Mission 3: Abs. Dang. I know from doing Tae Bo that Billy Blanks doesn’t play around, but this was a killer ab workout packed into 28 minutes.

The first week was great, and I’m feeling pretty good. I’ve been drinking water more diligently than usual and remembering to take a daily vitamin. Jess and I have also decided that instead of doing weekly weigh-ins and measurements, we are going to wait until the end of the month in the hopes of seeing greater results.

Have you taken up the challenge with us? What did you do this first week? How are you feeling? Do you have any great workouts we should try?

I’ve seen a lot of 31 day challenges lately, and they seem like a good idea. You can do pretty much anything for a month, right? (This is my inner dialog as I offer up a 31 day exercise challenge to myself.)

I am horrible about getting exercise. And drinking water. And eating healthily. So here’s my idea. I want to look and feel better when we go to Hawaii, but that’s still over two months away. I need something more short term than that. My 35th birthday is one month from today, so I will do a 31 day exercise challenge to see what progress I can make by my birthday.

Now, I’m not crazy enough to share my weight and measurements with you here, but I will record them myself, and update you a month from now to let you know how it went. I am really hopeful that there will be progress made, and not just tears and anxiety.

Are you doing any sort of 31 day challenge this month? Would you like to join mine?

I’m sure you’ve realized by now that I am addicted to the movie “Pitch Perfect”. I love the characters, the conflict, and especially the music. At one point, one of the main characters, Jesse, is talking about movies and how the endings are the best part. I agree with him, at least when it comes to this movie.

I’m not even joking when I say that every time I get to the end of the movie, I have tears in my eyes. It’s kind of out of character for me, but it’s true. There is one thing in movies that you can guarantee will get me every time, and that’s father/daughter relationships.

Don’t get me wrong, I grew up with a wonderful step-dad, and had him as a strong male presence in my life (Still do, in fact.), but my “real” father was mostly absent. I never really got to know my dad because he didn’t put himself out there, and when I was old enough to take responsibility for growing our relationship, I didn’t. I was never sure that he wanted to get to know me, and so I didn’t press the issue.

Just as an example of where I came from, he called me the morning of my wedding to tell me he wasn’t coming. I found out later that he thought I had asked my step-dad to give me away. In truth, I asked my brother to walk me down the aisle because I didn’t want to cause conflict between my dads.

About ten years ago, his health started to decline quickly, and I made trips to see him each time he went into the hospital, but still never stepped out of my comfort zone to really learn anything about him.

When he passed away a few years later, I realized that there were a lot of things I wanted to know, and I had a lot of regrets. At that point, it was just too late. I couldn’t trust that side of the family to be honest with me, and he was gone.

So, you can see why I want to cry at the end of this movie when Beka’s father (whom she has butted heads with the entire movie) stands up, and with great pride on his face, yells out, excited for her triumph in doing something she loves. It makes me happy to know that her father is proud of her. It makes me sad that I can’t say, with any certainty, the same about mine.

I just had a very enlightening discussion with a friend about failure. My husband and I have talked about failure in the past, but this discussion was different because she and I grew up together, and had many of the same experiences that shaped us into the adults we are now.

Looking back, we were set up to feel like failures. We grew up in a town that refused to build a second high school, even though it was badly needed, because they didn’t want to have two sports teams in town competing against each other. They were known to crank out state champs, and splitting into two schools would make a mess of their records. Four days a year we were required to run a timed mile. If you didn’t manage it in under ten minutes, you failed. (I always failed. Always.) She graduated in the top 5 of our class of over 400 (I was in the top 10%), but because we weren’t in the top 2, we failed. We both earned full scholarships to the state university, but because it wasn’t Ivy League, we failed.

Is it any wonder that I feel like I’m not equipped to handle life as an adult? Around every corner, I was told by the people who were put in charge of shaping my mind that even though I was smart and talented, I wasn’t ever going to be good enough. It didn’t matter if I was first chair flute because I didn’t participate in the symphony or play in college. It doesn’t matter that I was accepted to Oxford because I didn’t actually go, and I ended up not finishing college anyway. No amount of funny or smart or, whatever, was good enough to be good enough.

And so, here I am, quickly approaching my 35th birthday, and still feeling like I’m getting it all wrong.

But what if I’m not?

What if my love of music is enough? Maybe teaching my kids about different music genres and letting them figure out for themselves what they like is all I really need to do. What if I’m not a failure because my fastest mile run took me over 11 minutes? Is it really possible that I did succeed just because I managed to run a mile at all?

This brings up a whole new spectrum of doubts for me. Am I less of a woman because I don’t enjoy wearing make-up and heels? Am I failing as a wife because my house is dusty? Do my kids love me less because I’m making them learn how to take care of themselves instead of catering to their whims?

Is it possible that being imperfect is, well, acceptable? Normal, even? It’s definitely given me something to think about.